Sunday Inspiration: Is it really a Happy New Year?
Happy New Year
How does this ring for you this year?
Did you have the year from hell?
Did you have the best year ever?
Was your year filled with life and laughter?
Was it filled with loss and pain?
Are you like me and after the most horrible of years, you get tired of hearing, "next year will be better." I remember fake-smiling at a well-meaning woman whilst simultaneously envisioning kicking her and then screaming and running away like a crazed monkey. How did they know it would be better? They had no idea what I had just endured. And would I have to endure the same level of pain and loss AGAIN? If so, would I survive? Why did it feel like a never-ending cycle? Why did it spark fear in me?
If this is you. You've had an incredibly challenging year, or even honestly maybe the best year ever, and there's that now same thread of fear that 'am I now due for a hard one?' nagging a little. I can share a couple of things that have helped me walking optimistically into the new year even after overcoming great pain and loss.
1. Bad things have happened and are done, so you have to figure out how let them go. Yea. I'm saying it. But, how? We are all so unique, so I can't answer that completely. But I will say, there's a level of surrender, of submission, of laying it all down. For me, every time events or people come into my mind that have hurt me, I literally say this to myself, "Danya, you can't change it, or take it away, but you can stop thinking about it, right now." If the thought nags I also have a prayer I pray, "Lord, this is not my thought to hold onto, this is not my pain to control or change, I'm giving it all over to you now. Do not let bitterness take root inside of my heart in Jesus name. Give me a heart of forgiveness." Sometimes I have to do it several times, because pain can be overwhelming. And there have been moments of pure hate for some of the hurt that has been forced upon me. Can I just share a truth though? For me, pain, when I allowed it to be, has been an incredible teacher; but only after I accepted that I could not change it and stopped fighting the inevitable; I just dropped to my knees gave up the fight to keep it away from me, and then let myself be shaped by it all. Anytime anger resurfaced at the pain, I would again release it with my words. Over time, using the power of my words, the shape of the now new me began to reveal itself as I would again strengthen. Time is a great and blessed healer, if you let it pass without fighting it too much. So surrender all the bad, often.
2. Make new goals based on the successes of the old ones. Things that failed and didn't work, you can rework them and see if they work again, but what actually worked for you? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it worked once, it will work again. Having said that, I put in front of my mentor all of the things that did work, to see if it's taking me in the right direction. The things that failed, he can usually look at quickly and know whether to tell me to dismiss them, or perhaps just tweak one little thing. There's a lot of power in outside eyes that are not emotionally attached to your world. Let's see if you picked up on the fact that I submit my ego to a mentor. It's not easy. I'm strong-willed, and incredibly driven. So it's hard to lay it down and say, "will this work?" and know you might hear "no". But tell me "no", tear off the band-aid, yes it will sting, but tell me! Because I don't want to continue to set myself up for failure. Do you have a mentor? I hope so. If you don't, I pray one your way. It has changed my life in the best way. So find a mentor to help you map out your successes and failures for future success, and be prepared to set aside your ego.
3. Forget resolutions, and make some hard and fast goals. Resolutions are just 'hopefully's', aka as failure waiting to happen because you don't believe in it. Goals that you've written down, and hung up in front of your eyeballs, become a vision. Vision that you allow to crystallize in your mind, is powerful. The book I read the most tells me that "a man without vision will perish". This tells me that goals are actually critical for our 'thrival and survival'! So, make goals! Write them down! Hang them up in front of you, and look at them multiple times a day, every day!
The reality is, we can't change what happened even 5 minutes ago, let alone 6, 9, 12 months ago. The New Year is not some magical force that changes what has happened, but I do know this, the future is what you make of it. You are an incredible, power, and unique force in this world. Your life has unbelievable significance to the ebbs and flows of this beautiful Earth, but only if you own it. For this year to be a good year, say "This year is going to be a really good year!", own that truth and say it over and over and often. And you know what? I can't promise you won't face, death, loss, your spouse cheating on you, your child struggling with depression, your favorite dog getting sick or even losing your job or your house, but I can promise if you're saying "This year is going to be a really good year!" and owning that truth, even when the walls fall down, somehow, you'll make it through a little scathed, but still smiling. It keeps you looking forward instead of back, because you've learned along the way to let go of all you cannot change. And above all else, you matter so much to so many people, whether you've chosen to see it or not, please believe me that you do. Make this year great. Own it. Believe it. Receive it. And above all else, become the best version of you that you can within these 12 short months!
Here's to a New Year for you being the best you've ever had. I love and truly appreciate you!
Stay grateful. Stay humble. Stay in the mode of always becoming the best YOU!
Here's to you and the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING YEAR ahead of you!
Healthy Looks Good On YOU!
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