Sunday Inspiration: Driven By Haters
There are many things I have yet to accomplish in my life, that I still strive for. By no means have I found my way to my throne to serve as queen of my domain, but it's coming. I've found that for every failure, or stop, or block in my journey, there's a great opportunity to grow and learn and change for the better, as long as I don't pout too long because of the set back.
Ever been a proverbial feet-kicker-baby-fit-thrower? Yea. Me too. LOL
I have found that every time I begin a great surge forward, one of two things happens. I have something or someone comes against me or I self-sabotage, most likely out of fear and self doubt.
There are many wonderful people put in my life that are at times a lifeline that I lean into when it comes to guidance and mentoring. But there are times that they too have become the creators of some of my biggest self doubt. So I have to be careful not to lose myself in the process. They are and always will be my biggest cheerleaders. I am still me, and this journey is actually mine and mine alone. Other people being part of it, is just gravy in the long run, and a blessing as well. And I’m always thankful for their wisdom, but I have to be ready to own my decisions.
I have found with clients, that when they truly trust me, and lean into my words and do everything I tell them, they have massive success. And when they step away from that, their success starts to fade, and many times, they find themselves back where they started. Why is that? Did they not want it enough? Did they quit? Give up? Give in?
There was a period of time in my life, that I would take on their reversal as my own fault. I would feel so terrible and almost beg and plead with them to go back to what works. Sometimes they would. Sometimes they wouldn't.
But I never gave up on them. And I think that was really critical to the success of the ones who hung in there.
I don't know where your spiritual walk is, but I feel like my Heavenly Father probably feels that way sometimes too. I picture a big fatherly sigh, as I again make a course correction, and find myself within a true setback, navigating my next comeback.
I realized, at some point, just like I discovered it was my journey, it was important to empower my clients that it was their journey. When they needed me, I was still here for guidance. I have made some of my very best friends through my clients. But my best bet is to be the reassuring Voice that they can do this.
And then there are the haters. The ones who are uncomfortable with you making changes, because you make them vastly aware that they probably also need to make changes, so they begin to hate on you. When you're making different choices to further your success, they begin to tempt and bring you down. Those haters.
Ah the haters. Man they have become fuel for so many things in my life.
Can I just be really really transparent here? If you don't know me, I am and always have been a curvy girl. I'm an hourglass figure, and short. Not a natural choice visually for the fitness industry, quite frankly. I also had very little help or guidance in how to dress for much of my life, it took decades to figure out that hiding the curves created the illusion of obesity, but embracing the curves, showed off me, a lot of me. Scary. But important. Because my body is a blessing.
In spite of my curves, I began a passionate love of teaching group fitness for almost 2 decades. Much to my dismay, without them realizing I was aware, I was referred to as the "big" instructor by much of the staff at the gym, because I wasn't solid muscles or stick thin. I was curvy. It wasn't until I embraced my "size" (which is today still a 10-12, so not a size 2 like many in the fitness industry), that I started to receive a following. My GX Groupies:) People walked in my door to be with me, not my size. And I really began to embrace being Danya, the instructor, because let's face it, walking in and taking a class for the first time can be truly scary. I didn't intimidate, I welcomed. All of the instructors I know (all shapes and sizes BTW) are incredible at what they do. But death lies in comparison. Even with us instructors.
Do you sit and compare yourself to others? Or do you just accept that you are you, every curve, or not curve, every bell and whistle, every wrinkle, big or little boobs, every part of your legs, face, smile, crooked teeth.
You are unique. And that is an incredible blessing, because there's only one of you. Even if you are an identical twin, there is something that sets you apart, because you are truly an incredible piece of art. But then, there are the haters.
Haters. The people that have nothing encouraging to say and constantly tear down your dreams, no matter how high you stapled them up!
I became a mom when I was 18. I was told multiple times "you've thrown your life away!" "you had so much potential!"
My daughter, now right at 23, is one of the most incredible driven human beings I know. She was seated number 3 in the nation at the collegiate marathon level. She was a stellar athlete, and flew through college with almost straight A's. Their hate fueled my desire to be the absolute best at momming that I could be. And that thread of determination runs through her veins. The world will continue to move out of her way as she rises to the top at everything she does.
My oldest son, now serving in our great Nation's Naval forces, I had him when I was 21. He's passionate about this country, so much so that he was driven from the age of 14 to serve in our military. I was of course accused multiple times again of "throwing my life away" to now have 2 kids by the age of 21. Please remember that haters, while you live in a safe country, that my son joined forces with those that fight for you and your family, your freedom and safety. Again, another success at momming, in spite of all the nay-sayers.
The one thing I taught my kids was if your dreams aren't scary, they aren't big enough. And no matter what, don't settle for anything less than the biggest and scariest dreams there are, because beyond that is where all the good stuff lies.
I got divorced at the age of 29. I got remarried at 31. I got divorced again at the age of 39. Haters. They came in the form of my now ex-husbands, family members, they came in the form of friends...they came in the form of fuel.
I began to take everything people told me I couldn't do, and I made it my personal business to "SHOW THEM" I in fact could. Even being successful as a now single parent.
At 24 I owned my own small drilling company. Primarily because I was told I couldn't. Haters. Man they are some good fuel for some bold movements in your life!
Do you recognize your haters?
I still have them. They now make me smile, because I've learned that they are in fact a sign that I'm on the right path.
Be cautious though, don't join them. Don't give in to the pressure of the hatred. That's exactly what they want, to break you down. That hatred is actually your own personal gold, it's precious so don't throw it away or ignore it. Pick it up, and put it into your gas tank, don't wear it. And then when the moment is right, gun the gas and shine so bright the haters have to swallow back their words and see you fly. Burn off the hate in the best way you can, the residual flames of your success.
I'm a once teenage mom, who was told she THREW HER LIFE AWAY who has successfully raised 2 incredible kids to successful adults and have 2 more to finish raising who are warriors through and through.
I'm a person who struggled with weight and identity her entire life, referred to as the "big" instructor, who was told she THREW HER LIFE AWAY. A woman who without a college education has owned multiple businesses and become an anchor in hundreds of peoples lives; as a coach in network marketing of a huge fast-growing, incredible team of dreamers, a fitness instructor, personal trainer and online personal trainer, offering them hope and help through one of the toughest times in their life, obesity, depression, food addiction...
I'm a twice divorced mom of 4 kids who is looking at you, and saying to you, ALL things are possible, no matter what is thrown at you. It's worth it to hang in there.
I'm Danya. I'm 41. I'm blessed beyond measure. And today is the day that I'm telling you, to embrace the haters, and to put that fuel in your tank, so it is there for the moment when you RISE UP the highest. This life is worth all of the pain, all of the sorrow and all of the joy. And the haters, oh my goodness THANK YOU! You helped me unleash the actual me. The moment the true me was unleashed, my real journey began!
Can't wait to see where this leads, because I know with my God-sized dreams, it's somewhere absolutely incredible!
Stay grateful. Stay humble. Stay in the mode of always becoming the best YOU!
Here's to you and the flames of fire that will be ignited by your haters and the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING YEAR ahead of you!
Healthy Looks Good On YOU!
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